This spot originally aired on Radio Shorts, a half-hour comedy radio show that has been airing on KUSF-FM in San Francisco. Put us on, and we'll put you on!
SFX: WAVES LAPPING ON BEACH MAN: Gee, what a beautiful sunset! If only I had an inspiring Zen poem to make this moment last forever. WOMAN Gosh, I really want to impress this guy, but my creative Muse just went out to lunch. What can I do? ANNCR: Don't you just hate experiencing those beautiful moments and having absolutely nothing to say? Well, those days are gone, thanks to MR. HAIKU! With its patented artificial satori technology, MR. HAIKU can create enigmatic yet profound seventeen-syllable Zen poems in just seconds! Just type in a few words that describe your immediate surroundings, and let MR. HAIKU do the rest! WOMAN: Let's see...sunset...beach. SFX: BEEP...BEEP...BEEP...WHIRRRR...PING WOMAN: Here's one! Shimmering sunset / sand gets into everything / who ate the nachos? MAN: Wow- that's intense! Write another one! WOMAN: Okay. Hmm...waves...surfing SFX: BEEP...BEEP...BEEP...WHIRRRR...PING WOMAN: Gnarly surfer dude / nine to ten foot swells / can't waste time on a day job MAN: Hey, you're really deep! Let's go back to my place! ANNCR: Yes, with MR. HAIKU you can possess thousands of years of Oriental wisdom, without the bother or embarrassment of shaving your head, sitting silently in empty rooms for hours on end, or having old men hit you on the head with sticks. Instant enlightenment for a minimal $29.95 . That's MR. HAIKU- attain yours today! SFX: TRAFFIC ANNCR: Later that evening... MAN: Write one about the cab driver! WOMAN: I already have. Taxicab driver / do you speak any English? / your name has no vowels MAN: Cool! I never went out with a Zen master before. WOMAN: I'm a Zen master...and I'm not a Zen master, thanks to MR. HAIKU!