Questions that haven't yet been asked, but we think will soon be asked occasionally, and we hope, some day, may be asked frequently:

Where is the Kooks Museum?

The Kooks Museum has been dismantled, compacted, frozen, laminated and reassembled to allow patrons the essence of the Kooks Museum experience as of mid-1999. Because the process of freezing and laminating -- not to mention thawing, re-freezing and re-laminating -- an entire building is a costly and time-consuming process, and because the curator mysteriously left the premises five months ago and left no forwarding address, there will be no new additions or revisions to the Kooks Museum. The FREEZE DRIED KOOKS MUSEUM has been moved to an undisclosed location in our permanent archives.

Why did the esteemed curator of the Kooks Museum leave?

The answer to that is hidden deep within the recesses of the (former) curator's nervous system, but we speculate that she simply "got sick of" the work. Beginning around two years before her departure, we heard occasional grumblings to the effect of: "What? Not another victim of secret electronic mind control torture devices," and, the somewhat more alarming, "You can take that alleged "Free Energy" device and throw it out the window!"

We thought it unnecessary to take these outbursts seriously, writing them off as natural reactions to the day-to-day challenges of the work. We became concerned however, when the curator began to skip out on a regular basis. Her excuses were numerous: she had to work on her second book; she had to go to the thrift store; she had to earn her living as a bookseller; she had to play croquet; she was launching a new so-called 'zine... We at the Kooks Museum soon began to realize that it didn't matter what the excuse was; she no longer cared and we were being abandoned.

We discussed our predicament at length among ourselves. We considered simply dismantling the Kooks Museum and packing it away. We also considered freezing the entire museum and duplicating it on CD-ROM for paying customers. Finally, however, with you, the loyal visitors in mind, we decided to preserve what we thought was the essence, and let you continue to romp among its hallways as you did in happier days, for the price of a computer, a modem and an internet connection.

What is Book Happy Magazine?

Book Happy is a magazine (a real magazine, printed on paper) about collecting weird books. It's an attempt to review and present -- in their full glory -- unique, old, rare and inexplicable publications that would otherwise be forever lost in the garbage heap of forgotten tomes. Ordering information and can be found at our Order Desk. Sample articles and contents can be found in our Sampling Room.

What is Book Happy Booksellers?

Book Happy Booksellers is the corporate parent of Book Happy Magazine, shamelessly and synergistically using the magazine to hynotize consumers into buying items from the Book Happy Book Catalog. Nevertheless, many of these items are rare and can only be found by duplicating the patented book-mining process that our diligent staff has been developing and refining for the past twenty years.

What's this I've been hearing about Book Happy selling out?

Absolutely Not True! We have received many offers that others would consider tempting, but we remain dedicated to our principles of content over coating, "buy low - sell high," and work by not working. You can be assured that as long as Book Happy stays in print, it will stand for all the qualities you've come to expect from our product: ink on paper, pages that turn and the latest in Roman-style lettering.